Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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