turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize