Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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