You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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