I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
