nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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