Well douche your snatch and let's go!
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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