I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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