You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize