you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
