i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
