as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
