I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
