when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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