If i come over, it means nothing
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize