and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Is it penis luge time yet?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
