apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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