No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
