you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
