I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize