Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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