thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
