I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
