I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
