why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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