is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize