Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
