you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My breasts were aching with rage.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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