I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
