uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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