That's when you crack a 10am beer
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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