Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
