im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I am naked and annoyed.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
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