1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
