summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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