we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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