Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
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