She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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