So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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