i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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