she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
