its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Still dying that you shit outside
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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