okay pat passed out under dana's car
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
