We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
