jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
