nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm drive I can fine osifer
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
