I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
its liver damage thursday
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
