I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
