if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
