I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
