Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
