the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
