Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
