he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
lets start a swedish sibling band together
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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