I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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