you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
