why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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